For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead. – Anna Cummins
Some people, regardless of what they lack—money, looks, or social connections—always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamored with these charming personalities.
These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship.
You just can’t get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, “What do they have that I don’t? What makes them so irresistible?”
The difference? Their sense of self-worth comes from within.
Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective.
Since being irresistible isn’t the result of dumb luck, it’s time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit.
Get ready to say “hello” to a new, more irresistible you.
1. They Treat EVERYONE With Respect
Whether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that—no matter how nice they are to the person they’re having lunch with—it’s all for naught if that person witnesses them behaving badly toward someone else. Irresistible people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.
2. They Follow The Platinum Rule
The Golden Rule—treat others as you want to be treated—has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things. One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the center of attention.
The Platinum Rule—treat others as they want to be treated—corrects that flaw. Irresistible people are great at reading other people, and they adjust their behavior and style to make others feel comfortable.
3. They Ditch The Small Talk
There’s no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, every day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they’re told to other important facets of the speaker’s life.
4. They Focus On People More Than Anything Else
Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don’t spend much time thinking about themselves. They don’t obsess over how well they’re liked, because they’re too busy focusing on the people they’re with. It’s what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless.
To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you’re with. Focus on what they’re saying, not what your response will be, or how what they’re saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to draw them out even more.
5. They Don’t Try Too Hard
Irresistible people don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. It’s not that they’re resisting the urge to brag. The thought doesn’t even occur to them because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to get others to like them.
6. They Recognize The Difference Between Fact And Opinion
Irresistible people handle controversial topics and touchy subjects with grace and poise. They don’t shrink from sharing their opinions, but they make it clear that they’re opinions, not facts. Whether discussing global warming, politics, vaccine schedules, or GMO foods, irresistible people recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently.
7. They Are Authentic
Irresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what they’ll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake.
People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. It’s easy to resist someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.
8. They Have Integrity
People with high integrity are irresistible because they walk their talk, plain and simple. Integrity is a simple concept but a difficult thing to practice. To demonstrate integrity every day, irresistible people follow through, they avoid talking bad about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts.
9. They Smile
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.
10. They Make An Effort To Look Their Best (Just Not Too Much Of An Effort)
There’s a massive difference between being presentable and being vain. Irresistible people understand that making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company comes—it’s a sign of respect for others. But once they’ve made themselves presentable, they stop thinking about it.
11. They Find Reasons To Love Life
Irresistible people are positive and passionate. They’re never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of.
It’s not that irresistible people don’t have problems—even big ones—but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better.
Bringing It All Together
Irresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. They’ve simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.
They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and seen. Just remember: the more you focus on others, the more irresistible you’ll be.
What other qualities make people irresistible? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book,Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, TIME, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, andThe Harvard Business Review.
Get the book by clicking here:
When Myles Eckert found $20 in a Cracker Barrel parking lot, he thought about what he might buy with this newfound fortune, but he changed his mind when he laid eyes on the man in uniform. Steve Hartman reports on what happened..
The moment you receive it, say:
Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven,
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory,
now and forever
GOD WANTED ME TO TELL YOU, it shall be well with you this coming year. No matter how much your enemies try this year, they will not succeed. You have been destined to make it and you shall surely achieve all your goals this year. For the remainder of 2014, all your agonies will be diverted and victory and prosperity will be incoming in abundance. Today, God has confirmed the end of your sufferings sorrows and pain because HE that sits on the throne has remembered you. He has taken away the hardships and given you JOY… He will never let you down.
I knocked at heaven’s door this morning, God asked me, My child! What can I do for you? And I said, ‘Father, please protect and bless the person reading this message.
It has never been broken. Within 48 hours send to family and friends, as many as you can ? God does know if you don’t have 20 people to send it to. It’s the effort and intent that counts. This is a powerful Prayer. Couldn’t hurt can only help…Let’s pray for one another, there’s no superstition involved here, we are just asking for Gods will to be done here on earth.
2. Learn from other people’s mistakes. It is cheaper, easier and less painful.
3. Postpone the success for the later time. If you did not achieve the goal today as you planned, tell to yourself “I have not lost; I just postponed the result I want till the later time”. Wake up next day and continue the battle for it. Never give up.
4. Think how can use your failure. Failure is not a real failure if you use that as knowledge.
5. If you look at your goal and you do not know now how to do it, it does not mean that this is impossible.
6. Your desire of success should be higher than your fear of failure.
7. DATE THE DREAM!
8. Do not focus on the result. Focus on change and you will get the results!
Thanks and credit go to a cool Swedish blogger “Life as an Investment” – click here to visit his / her site where I got this great advice.